Inuyasha Episode Something
by NonExistantBreeze
Summary: A COMPLETELY random fic. Includes dancing competitions, flying Giraffes, authors arguing with each other, Gackt, and Inuyasha leaving the show. Read at your own risk.


Inuyasha Episode Something.

Naraku's castle appears in the middle of nowhere.

DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUN-

"OI!" screeches Kagura, "this isn't Star Wars!"

Naraku comes out, breathing heavily.

"Why are you breathing heavily?" asks Kagura.

Naraku walks over. "I ran here because I accidentally dropped a hive and the bugs started attacking me!"

"I thought they listened to you," says Kagura.

"Not when you drop the hive in the fire."

"Eh, are they okay?"

"They? THEY?!" Yells Naraku. "What about me?! I got stung by hundreds of angry, malnourished, overworked bees and had to run for miles!! I'm so peeved I forgot to get the new shards from them!"

"Right, sorry" says Kagura. Naraku sits down and touches his stings.

"Don't touch them!" says Kagura, "you'll only make them worse!"

-skips to Inuyasha and…co-

"Will you bear my child?" Miroku asks to a passing lady. Sango hits him with her boomerang and pulls him away. The woman looks confused.

"Oww" says Miroku. Two more women walk past. Miroku goes over to them. "Will you bear my, woah!" says Miroku, dodging Sango's boomerang.

"You perverted monk!" shouts Sango.

"Sango, until someone agrees to bear my child, I must act perverted" says Miroku. "Truly it is not in my nature to prey on the ladies like I do."

"A likely story" says Inuyasha.

"Look everyone! A flying hippopotamus!" cries Kagome.

"A what?"

"They're an African animal! What's it doing in Japan?"

"Africa?" asks Inuyasha. "What's that?"

"Another country" replies Kagome.

A flying giraffe follows the hippopotamus.

"Okay…" says Sango, confused.

"Ahh! That demon is very big!!" yelps Shippo.

"Wanna take me on, huh?" asks Inuyasha. "Well bring it!" He pulls out his sword. The giraffe, who is eating some bamboo, looks down uninterested, licking his nose with his long purple tongue.

"Ahh, Inuyasha. It's not a demon, it's a giraffe" says Kagome. "Although I've never heard of a giraffe that could fly…" But Inuyasha already starts to attack!

Then suddenly, Naraku runs into view.

"Hey, have you seen Sesshoumaru anywhere? Or my castle?" he asks, breathing heavily.

"Umm…no" they all reply.

"Why are you looking for Sesshoumaru?" asks Inuyasha.

"He's my dance partner, and we've got the finals on tonight."

"Oh yeah, Sesshoumaru's off taking Rin to her first day of school" says Kagome.

Audience: Awww~

Then suddenly, Gackt runs into view being chased by a demon.

"Ahhhh!" says Gackt.

"Oi!" shouts Naraku. "Can you dance?"

Gackt stops running. "Umm, yeah?" he says. "Hey where is this place, I accidentally fell into a well and when I got out I was here?"

"You're in feudal era Japan" replies Inuyasha. The demon chasing Gackt ends up only to be another giraffe, who starts to chew its tongue.

"Are you Gackt?!" screams Kagome.

"Yeah…" says Gackt. "How can I have fans in feudal era Japan?"

"Oh, I fell through the well as well" replies Kagome. She looks starry-eyed and is blushing.

"Listen, Gackt, or whoever you are, you have to come with me right now. The finals are on in 15 minutes! I'll teach you the moves on the way, okay? Let's go!" says Naraku, pulling Gackt away and out of sight.

Kagome starts to giggle uncontrollably.

"What" asks Inuyasha, confused by the day's happenings.

"Gackt…dancing!" says Kagome through her giggles. "Oh, Naraku has no hope. If there's one thing Gackt can't do, and he can do everything, it's dance. He's just rubbish!"

"Hm. I feel sorry for him then" says Miroku knowingly. "He won't last 5 minutes after Naraku finds out he can't dance. He'll be dead in about half an hour."

Kagome squeals. "No!! Inuyasha, we have to go after him!"

"Yeah," Sango says, "he was hot. I don't want him dead."

"Alright then, Sango, Miroku and Kilala will go find Sesshoumaru and get him to the finals, and me, Inuyasha and Kagome will save Gackt" says Shippo, taking over Inuyasha's role, who was currently staring with his mouth open.

"What the hell is going on?" asks Inuyasha.

"No time to explain" says Shippo. "Come on let's go!"

The splits up into two. Inuyasha stands for a moment with his mouth still open, then gets pulled away by Kagome.

-crosses to Sesshoumaru with Rin, Jaken and Ah and Uhn at the primary school. Rin is holding Sessh's hand and looks nervous. Every Sessh fan dies from too much cute-

"Lord Sesshoumaru? Do I have to go?" asks Rin. "Can't I just stay with you?"

"No Rin," says Sessh. "You have to get an education, and you'll be safer here."

"But the children don't look very nice…" says Rin.

"Stop being so ungrateful!" says Jaken angrily. "Lord Sesshoumaru is doing this out of the goodness of his heart! You go to school and you enjoy it!"

"Okay~" says Rin, sighing.

"I'll pick you up at 3.30, Rin."

Just as Rin walks into class, Sango, Miroku and Kilala run up to Sessh, panting.

"You – have – to – come - quickly" pants Miroku. "Japanese – superstar – from – the – future – in – trouble."

"What?" asks Sessh, confused.

"I - said – that – Japanese – superstar – from – the – future – is – in – trouble!" pants Miroku.

"That's starting to get annoying," says Sango.

"Sorry. Anyway, he's about to get killed and it's all your fault."

How is it my fault? I don't even know the guy."

"But he's covering for you in the dancing finals! You're supposed to be in the city centre right now with Naraku, practicing your moves" says Miroku.

"Oh, ****! Says Sessh.

"Exactly" says Sango. "So you'd better get moving and grooving and get yourself up to the city centre quick smart, because the next person who dies in Naraku's wrath will be you."

"I'd like to see him try" says Sessh, before he leaves.

Inuyasha walks over. "What the hell is going on here?!" asks Inuyasha.

"He's not coming" says Sango.

"You have to come, Sesshoumaru" says Miroku, "this superstar is very good-looking, not to mention he kind of sounds like you."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he's you from the future" Sango adds.

"Leave me alone" says Sessh.

"Sesshoumaru!" Yells Inuyasha. "Personally I don't care if this Gackt guy lives or dies." Sango tuts. "But there's NO WAY I'm going to stand here and let you throw away all your dancing dreams!"

"Inuyasha?" says Miroku uncertainly. Sesshoumaru stands dumbstruck.

"I remember when you were just a kid…"

"You didn't know me when I was a kid, you weren't born until I was an adult!!!" says Sesshoumaru.

"Oh, right" says Inuyasha. "Okay, this is getting too confusing, I'm outta this episode."

And with that, Inuyasha leaves his own show, for the episode.

"Inuyasha!" shouts Kagome.

"It's too late, he's gone now" says Miroku. "Kagome!"

Kagome is running after Inuyasha. "Great," says Sango, "the two main characters of this show have now left."

Sesshy, Miroku and Sango stand there for a second. Sesshy starts to look emotional. "It's true, though" starts Sessh. "For all my life I've been dancing privately, wishing with all my might that one day I will become dancer extraordinaire. Naraku helped me realise that dream." Sessh's eyes water, and Miroku and Sango look shocked. "I can't believe I forgot something so dear to me" he says, before mounting Ah and Uhn, Jaken clutching onto Ah and Uhn's tail just before it flies away yelling "LORD SESSHOUMARU DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Sango looks at Miroku, Miroku at Sango.

"Well that was weird" says Sango.

"Yeah" agrees Miroku. "Hey do you wanna watch some dancing?"

"Sure!" says Sango, and they fly on Kilala to the city centre.

-cuts to Shippo-

"Oh man, oh man, I'm all alone and I have to save Gackt all by myself!!" he says worryingly. "Where are they, anyway?" he looks around and sees people walking around a corner, and follows them.

The people spot him. "Aww look! It's a cute little fox demon!" a woman says.

"I want it!" says the child with her, who has a pram with a toy inside. She chucks out the toy, shoves Shippo inside and puts the toy's bonnet on him.

"No, I…" starts Shippo, but then realises that the pram is actually very comfortable. "Never mind" he says, and curls up and goes to sleep.

"Come on honey, let's go to the dance!" says the mother. They enter the stadium just as the music starts.

"At least Miroku and Sango will save him" mumbles Shippo sleepily.

Little does he know that Miroku and Sango are sitting in the crowd, sharing fizzy drinks and fairy floss.

Backstage, Naraku realises that Gackt can't dance and gets angry.

(It is here that the authors started to get a bit angry at each other)

"You can't dance!" he yells. "Well I guess I have no more use for you." Naraku holds out his hand and Gackt, who is completely oblivious, doesn't move. Then Naraku shoots and energy beam at him and he disintegrates.

TM: Oh what a shame Gackt is now dead. Oh well.

Then Ken loses his voice so Rumiko has to write Sessh out of the episode, so poor Naraku is left by himself.

NEB: You know what TM?? My plans for this story were that when Naraku realises that Gackt can't dance, Sessh was going to fly in at the right moment and save the day. SAVE THE DAY!! Sheesh.

TM: I know how to end the episode.

Rumiko gets RSI in her hand and can't finish the episode, so she goes home and waits for it to get better.

NEB: And I'm her second-in-command! HAHAHA!

-crosses to Inuyasha, diving through the hole-

Kagome follows. She sees him running off into town, and into an ice-cream shop. Kagome walks inside and sees him buying an ice-cream, then saying "Thank you very much sir."

Kagome stares. "How?" she starts, but he's already running off to Kagome's house.

"Where did you get that money from?" she calls.

"I stole it from you!" he says, still running.

"WHAT?" Kagome yells. "Wait, why do you want to go to my house? Why are you in such a hurry?!"

"I MISS BUYO!" he cries, before disappearing inside.

TM: OMG I know how to fix this episode!

Shippo stirs and opens his eyes. He yawns. "Ohhh owww I can't believe I ate that bag of sugar. Man that dream was even weirder than the last one!" He says, sitting up. He rubs his head and looks around the room. Seeing that everyone was still asleep, he too turns over and goes back to sleep, hopefully to dream more normal dreams this time…


End file.
